Today host Hoda Kotb reveals the ‘game-changing’ parenting advice that helps her to calm her six-year-old daughter’s ‘meltdowns’
Hoda Kotb has shared her ‘game-changing’ parenting advice that helped her calm down her daughter, Haley, during her ‘meltdowns.’
The 59-year-old anchor revealed the action plan she used to emotionally aid her six-year-old, Haley, when she was going through a rough patch during Tuesday’s Today With Hoda & Jenna, which included ‘validating her feelings.’
‘Sometimes at our house, Haley will have a meltdown about something, and I didn’t know how to deal with it, and someone was helping me and they said, “This is what you should do,”‘ Hoda told her co-host, Jenna Bush Hager, 41.
She then turned to the cameras and addressed the audience, saying this was for every parent – with Jenna adding supportively: ‘In case every single person has a child [who has] a meltdown.’
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Hoda Kotb shared her ‘game-changing’ parenting advice that helped her calm down her daughter, Haley, during her ‘meltdowns’
The co-anchor, 59, revealed the action plan she used to emotionally aid her six-year-old, Haley, when she was going through a rough patch during Tuesday’s Today With Hoda & Jenna
‘Sometimes at our house, Haley will have a meltdown about something, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. Someone was helping me and they said, “This is what you should do,” Hoda said
Using an example of a child saying they were scared of something was under the bed, Hoda advised: ‘Don’t go, “Look honey, there’s nothing under the bed. See there’s nothing, why are you scared?” Don’t do that.
‘The very first thing you should do, they say, is validate your child’s feelings. [Say something like,] “That must be scary,” and then all of a sudden, the shoulders drop and then you can have a conversation.
‘And then he said something to me that was a game-changer for me.’
Hoda went on to explain that sometimes when a meltdown happens before bed, parents can find themselves saying: ‘But honey, you gotta go to bed. But honey, you gotta go to sleep.’
She said the person offering up their parenting advice told her: ‘Take the word “but” out of your sentence and put in the word “and”‘ after you have said something that validates the way your child is feeling.
‘So in other words, [you would say,] “Honey I see what you’re saying. And honey, your body needs to rest,”‘ Hoda continued.
Her curious co-host Jenna asked: ‘And you find this is working?’
Hoda confirmed enthusiastically that ‘it’s working.’
‘The very first thing you should do, they say, grownups and kids, is validate your child’s feelings. “That must be scary,” and then all of a sudden, the shoulders drop,’ Hoda said
Hoda shares her two children with ex fiance Joel Schiffman. The pair were together for eight years, and engaged for two when she announced their split in late January 2022
She pointed to a producer on the show to give another example to Jenna.
‘Look, if I said, “Dave, you’re doing a great job but you really have to dot dot dot,” you’d be like…,’ Hoda said as she mimicked being stressed to demonstrate how Dave could be feel if he had heard that.
‘Verses, “Dave, you’re doing a great job and can you please queue me?”
‘See? The “and” makes it nice even though it’s the same as a “but.”
‘Not even for kids, you can do it for adults. “I want to help you and I’m busy right now.”
‘”Yes! I’m busy right now and I want to help you next time.”‘
The mother, who shares two children — Haley and four-year-old Hope — with her former fiancé, 65-year-old Joel Schiffman, told the show’s audience: ‘By the way, anyone who’s got any child-rearing tips, I love them.
‘Don’t hoard your secrets! If you know something, tell us.’
This isn’t the first time that Hoda has given fans a behind-the-scenes look at her life as a parent.
She previously opened up on Today about the four affirmations she told her young daughters before they went to bed that made them feel supported and loved.
