Spoiler alert: All hail the Joker yet again!!! Two-time MVP, Finals MVP, Heat Culture Slayer, Morris Brother Ruiner, Savior of Unselfish Basketball, and, still, our No. 1 Trade Value Guy heading into Thursday’s NBA trade deadline: the one, the only Nikola Jokic. Since the first Trade Value column from the 2000-01 season, the following stars have landed at no. 1: Tim Duncan, Shaquille O’Neal, Duncan again, young LeBron James for a couple of years, Dwyane Wade in 2006, LeBron again for seven solid years, Kevin Durant in 2014, Anthony Davis in 2015, Stephen Curry, KD again, the Greek Freak for nearly half a decade, and finally, our Doughy Serbian King this month.

That’s only nine guys for 24 seasons. Who’s next? Luka? Tatum? Edwards? Paolo? Oh, who are we kidding? Bet on the 7-foot-4 French dude who’s already averaging a 20-10, leading the league in blocks, feuding with a guy named Chet, and resonating on social media every game even though he’s wasting away on a glorified G League team. I can’t wait for Wemby to become the first actual alien to lead the Trade Value list. But for now, the Joker still reigns.

One trend for this year’s list: We’re riding such a ridiculous offensive boom thanks to … (a) the pace-friendly rule changes, (b) the 3-point tsunami, (c) the slash-and kick generation, and (d) our bumbling crew of robot referees, who genuinely think it’s a defensive foul every time a driving player lurches into a defender like they’re in a mosh pit … that it’s basically impossible to play defense anymore.

When I was growing up, if someone scored 60 points in a game, we reacted like the crowd at the Motown 25 special watching Michael Jackson moonwalk for the first time. I remember watching Bird score 60 in New Orleans against the Hawks, or Bernard scoring 60 on Christmas against Jersey, and feeling like I won the lottery just because I happened to be watching it live. Holy shit! Sixty points! Good God! In 2024, dudes are dropping 50, 55, 60, and even 70 almost as frequently as a retired NBA player says something truly stupid on a podcast. It’s somehow too EASY to score. So anyone who’s making a true impact as a two-way player (Derrick White, Jalen Johnson, Chet Holmgren, etc.) or has unique defensive prowess (OG Anunoby, Rudy Gobert, Alex Caruso) stands out more than they would have 10 years ago. I favored these guys more than usual. They need the support. Don’t let those robot refs discourage you, fellas! Keep doing what you’re doing! It’s not your fault when you get whistled for staying in front of Dame or Giannis or Trae or Luka or Tatum or Embiid or whomever as they dive into your chest, suffer a full-body spasm, and chuck the ball over their heads like they’re tossing a marlin off a boat. You’re not doing anything wrong. Keep plugging away. Defense still matters. Anyway, I didn’t write any new text for these 75 players, but we covered the new list extensively on Tuesday night’s BS Podcast. Enjoy.